Lose Yourself
by Shelbyallison
Summary: Clare is in one of her greatest relationships, stable during her storm, but will a new friendship ruin that?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: This is a little different than my last story, but I hope you still like it. Review please :)**

5:00 AM. Clare woke up to the sound of her alarm. She quickly rolled over and hit the off button. Today was the first day of her sophomore year at Degrassi Community School. Usually she isn't very happy about going to school. She loved school and loved learning, but it's always hard going back after having 3 months off. She was a little happier for school today. She has endured her parent's constant fighting all summer; her only escape was her boyfriend.

Clare got out of bed and quickly jumped into the shower. She was a firm believer in first impressions. She always tried looking her best, but the first day always called for more attention. After she dried off she put on her outfit that she picked out the night before: A floral skirt with a purple top and cropped cardigan. She even put a flower in her hair. This was also her boyfriend's favorite outfit, and she hasn't seen him in a week, so it was also something for him. She looked at herself one last time in the mirror, straightening her cross necklace. She grabbed her backpack from behind her door and made her way downstairs.

Clare's mother Helen was unusually cheerful. She even had a full continental breakfast going on the kitchen counter. Clare was a little confused by her mom's demeanor, but learned over the last few months not to ask questions. Clare grabbed a plate from the dishwasher and started grabbing bacon, French toast and scrabbled eggs. She proceeded to sit at the table and eat her food. It was delicious, but she just had an unnerving feeling that she had to get out of the house, something just didn't feel right.

After a few minutes, Clare excused herself from the table. "Sweetie, do you need a ride."

"No," Clare started, getting cut off by Helen, "Oh, he's going to pick you up?" Clare just nodded, grabbing a muffin of the counter and kissing her mothers cheek as she heard the car horn.

Clare grabbed her backpack and walked out the door, almost in a sprint to get to the car where her boyfriend was waiting. Clare smiled as he greeted her with a kiss and grabbed her hands. A week was truly too long, but she was happy to be back with him.

"Are you ready to grace Degrassi with our public presence?" He asked, smiling. The two dated towards the end of Clare's freshman year, but no one really knew, except for Clare's best friend Alli. They got serious over the summer. Not too serious, Clare knew where to draw the line, even as much as he pushed her.

"I absolutely am! I am ready to show the school that Mark Fitzgerald is my boyfriend."


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: Sorry it took so long to update, but I wanted to make this chapter longer. Hope you enjoy :) **

Clare held Fitz's hand and he had a huge smile on his face. He loved hearing Clare say, "boyfriend." She didn't say it often, not out of embarrassment, but she felt she didn't need to put a label on something. Fitz started to lean in, Clare thought he was going to kiss her, but instead she was greeted by his voice, "Mark stays between you and me, Edwards," he said with a smile still on his face, then he changed direction and surprised Clare with a kiss on the lips, this time, a little more forceful. Clare pulled back, slightly scared and puzzled. Fitz face immediately dropped and he quickly apologized, quickly kissing her gently on the cheek.

Clare finally whispered, "I think we need to get going… Fitz." He smiled, and then turned around to open her door, and made sure she was fully situated before closing the door and walked around to the driver's side and threw himself into the bucket seat of his car. Once he put the vehicle in drive he left one hand on the wheel and the other on Clare's knee. This made her uncomfortable, but she tried not to show it. She knew she wouldn't have gone that far, but Mark was just more forward, more experienced, so she dealt with it.

A few miles later, they arrived at Degrassi. Clare and Fitz both got out and grabbed hands. Fitz lightly kissed Clare, and whispered, "you wore that skirt for me, didn't you?" All Clare could do is blush and nod. She was happy that he finally noticed. After this, Fitz put his arm around Clare's shoulders and they walked into the school.

People were obviously staring. It was kind of hard for them not to. Mark Fitzgerald had his arm around Saint Clare Edwards. Everyone was curious, but no on asked anything. When Clare and Fitz got to Clare's locker, he put his arm down so she could open it up and put her backpack and lunch inside. Fitz kept looking around at all the people walking by. He finally saw Bianca turn the corner and when Clare closed her locker and turned around, Fitz pushed her up against the lockers and captured her lips into a kiss. Bianca obviously saw this when she was walking by so she walked over to Fitz and tapped him on the shoulder.

Fitz reluctantly turned around, while grabbing a hold of Clare's hand. "What the hell do you want, Bee?"

"I want to know what the hell is going on… and why you are kissing… her," Bee stated, with a slight look of disgust on her face.

"Oh, I don't know Bee, maybe because she is my _girlfriend_." Fitz had extra emphasis on the last word, and Bee's eyes flew open.

"Celibate now Fitz? Fitz didn't respond, he just squeezed Clare's hand and walked her to her class.

He was obviously upset, Clare didn't know what to say, she figured that if they came to this situation, he would become the Fitz that everyone knew of at school. She thought that he would try to find a way to get out of it. Then she started thinking. He was kind of forceful with that last kiss, and Bianca happened to walk by. Clare dropped her grip on Fitz hands and tried to unlace her fingers from her hand. Fitz looked over at her, trying to figure out what's wrong.

"What's wrong now Clare?" Fitz asked with agitation in his voice.

"Nothing, don't worry about it."

"Something is bugging you," Fitz was a little calmer this time.

Clare pulled him to a less populated hallway so she could talk to him. "At the locker, did you kiss me because you saw Bianca coming? Am I just some trophy for you to show off?" She was obviously upset. She never thought Mark would do this, Fitz sure, but she got to know him, and she didn't appreciate how different he acted when they were alone and with other people. Fitz didn't even know how to respond, if he told the truth, Clare would probably think that he was a pig, if he lied, well, she would know that he was lying. He just dropped his head, knowing that he was cornered.

Clare was obviously mad, "Where is the person I am dating? Where is my Mark, because I sure don't see him in your Fitz façade, or is this who you truly are and you're just lying to me?" Fitz tried to say something, but Clare cut him off, "We'll talk after class, I'm going to be late." With that, Clare walked away, alone, still upset.

Clare walked into her first class of the day. She was placed into an English Literature class. It was mainly an 11th grade class, but some sophomores could be placed in, like Clare. She didn't know any of the people, since they weren't in her grade, she recognized faces, but that was it, she stayed secluded her freshman year, surrounded by her advanced placement classes. All she could think about was Mark. She didn't know what personality was the true him. She knew Mark, the sensitive one that understood her, but all she saw at school was Fitz, the idiot who does things to get a leg up. If he was going to act like two different people, Clare didn't think she could be with him.

Clare was so caught up in her own thoughts she didn't hear the bell ring. She was tracing shapes on her desk with her finger. She looked up when she heard her teacher introduce the class. Their first assignment was a "getting to know me activity." She was partnered with the kid in front of her. He turned around to introduce himself, "Hi, my name is Eli."

"Clare," She retorted, still upset, but she decided to look up, and look at Eli in the face. After she did that, she wish she hadn't, because thoughts were now going through her mind that she shouldn't be thinking while she currently had a boyfriend.


End file.
